Can an abuser change when he sees he has a problem and is willing to get counseling to work on his marriage and his anger

No, because, serial abusers will never change. I am currently in the same situation. I am married and not even domestic violent classes help my soon to be ex-husband. I think age has alot to do with it too because, he is 49 years old.
Depending on the personal data and the psychodynamic profile of the abuser, his cultural and social background, age, profession, level of education, and extent of motivation to preserve the relationship. Some busers can definitely be helped and success stories abound.
During my experience of 12 years of mental and physical abuse, regardless of the “so-called” remorse displayed, the abuser must have a sincere believe that what he is doing is wrong. The abuser must make a conscious decision to change his way of thinking and implement that into his way of daily living. Unfortunately, abusers have often avoided owning up to their responsibility of change because tey generally shift the attention to the victim.

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