How can you tell your husband that his dad has to get his own place or you are leaving

I would suggest–as calmly as possible–saying that there just isn’t enough breathing space with you father in law living with you, and that has been rather stressful.
Suggest to your husband that you both could help your father in law look for a new residence over the next few months. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s the best thing you can do.
Be tactful and patient. Don’t threaten to leave him unless it’s really gotten to be a serious problem. He should be more loyal to his wife than to his father though.
Talk to your husband and explain why this is a problem for you, without making threats. The two of you together should approach Dad and set a date (60 to 90 days, if possible) when he will be in his own place. You need to present a united front to Dad at all times. If your husband doesn’t want Dad to move, you probably need to see an impartial therapist who can help you talk out your feelings.

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