A partial list:
–you have been in a solid relationship for at least a 1 1/2-2 years. You are not getting married for financial or social reasons, or as an “escape” from a current living situation.
—you trust, respect and love this person, and are concerned for their welfare. They feel the same way torwards you.
–if you don’t see them for periods of time, you still feel the same, and you do not get bored as time goes on
–neither of you is abusive, verbally or psychically. Neither of you domineers the other.
–neither of you has been married repeatedly over the years, or has had numerous broken engagements.
–neither of you has had an affair while involved in your relationship. Neither of you has a history of cheating on all your partners.
–you agree on finances, how to live, whether to purchase a home or rent. You both can live within in a budget, and do not have serious financial problems.
–you agree on whether or not to have children, and how many to have
–you each get along with the other person’s families.
When you pass the stage of infatuation and realise that this is the one with whom you not only allready without a doubt truly love, but with whom you also know your love has only just begun and that it will forever keep growing. If you can honestly belive you will cherish every moment even through troubled times with this person and you are willing to sacrifice your very heart and soul for this one. Then yes you are entitled to make a declaration of your lasting committment through engagement the eternal binding of your heart, mind & soul.
If you truly love each other, then waiting three years more shouldn’t make a difference…If this is truly marriage material, then after three years it will still be wonderful…always wait three years from the moment you think its time…then youll see if it truly is. This advice is harsh but GOLD and can save ur life…u don’t know how many ppls lives are wasted by wrong marriages.
If you have to ask…you’r not ready!!!
Every relationship is different because it is based on the values of the people involved. Abusive situations aside, “reasons” may not be the right word.
If you and your significant other find that you can bring each other joy over a sustained period of time, that you can support each other even when you don’t want to (i.e., able to put another person before yourself), and that you can allow the other to help you shoulder burdens and sorrows, then you are probably mature enough to contemplate marriage.
If you are trying to determin if you want to and can spend the rest of your life with someone, then think about the least flattering or worst aspects of that person and your life with that person. Annoying habits can be worked around (like having separate blankets to avoid “blanket hog”arguements), and no one is free of personality flaws and annoying quirks. The question is, do you love this person enough (and them, you) to love them in spite of their faults? Can you balance your needs, the other person’s needs, and your needs as a couple evenly? This is easiest when those needs align.
Think about what it will be like paying bills with this person, selecting a car with this person, arguing with this person of stupid things like toothpaste, talking about (possibly) uncomfortable things like politics, religion, prenuptual agreements, and sex. What can you expect things to be like if one of you suffers a great loss, like the death of a sibling, parent, or child? How would you two cope (together) if you both lost your jobs at the same time? What would happen if one spouse cheated on the other? Is that a deal-breaker?
Marriage is about the good as much as it is about getting through the bad. And it isn’t getting through it, it is coping with it by relying on each other, which in turn strengthens your relationship for the next good or bad thing.
Be thoughtful. Be purposeful. Discuss together, in depth. And then decide.
Don’t do something you’ll regret, by either getting engaged, or by not getting engaged.
Just don’t get comfortable with just being together as you are. I know alot of men that think that they can just go on for the rest of their lives as boyfriend and girlfriend, because it’s “perfect”. Don’t kid yourself. If you have commitment issues you need to own up and tell your girl what you are thinking, and you need to do some real soul searching with what you really want out of life. This “perfect” setup you have now, won’t last when you get to be 50, 80, or even 100 years old. You’re going to want more later, and if you let your girl go because you can’t commit, even if she treats you good and you love her and she loves you, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Because you love that person and can’t live without them
Because you have already decided to marry her.